dead to the world.

Holy crap. The most holy crap there is! Im not complaining, cause it makes me feel selfish. But, jeez. I can not WAIT till school is done and the darned christmas rush is OVER, I can then go back into my own little world of happiness!!

I feel so bad for not having time for my friends. I've been asked to do stuff 2wice this week by Sara and I feel SO bad for not being able to. Truth be told, I'm not doing as well as I should be in my classes and its totally taking its toll on me and freaking me out just a bit "slash" quite a friggin lot. I apologize whole heartedly to her and the others that I feel I've let down. I don't want to make excuses for myself, but I also dont want to fail school. But I also understand that friends are important. Once November ends, I think I'll have a little bit more time and hopefully not be freaking out quite so much. Just as of right now, it's hard for me to think straight and keep a positive foot in the door, but it'll pass. I have faith. *I gotta have faith, I gotta have faith fa-faith fa-faith* (8)

I cracked open the Christmas music this evening after work. It put me in a spirited mood while I studied. And yeah, I ate some chocolate. Dont tell Dr. Atkins. He'll shoot me in the face from his grave. Now I feel like a 400 lb cookabura sitting in an old oak tree, that breaks and kills the squirels happily gathering nuts in their cheeks beneath her.

I need to sedate myself. lol. Good night.