Holy crap man. I had the most insane dream last night and I woke up crying my little eyes out. I'll try and delve as much as I can.
First, though, I'd like to touch on the subject of death, cause this is what my entire dream revolved around. I, for some reason, am finding myself thinking out it more often. Early death in fact. It boggles my mind to know that this right here right now, will not last forever. We won't know exactly what happens after this until we get there. Last night I dreamt of a spin of what it might be like. *not practical at all Im sure, but still crazy*
Here goes ... bare with me, it might be a bit scattered
I remember looking out into a sea of people and knowing that these were the "alive people" I was in what seemed to me at the time to be almost airport like. There was a big moving staircase that people were going up and I was at the end of the line. Infront of me was a beautiful girl about 12 years old with 2 suitcases. She was so excited. I couldn't understand why. I soon found out/realized, that this was the staircase to, well, heaven I guess. I was dead. All the people in this airport thing were dead and getting ready to go up. I was absolutly shocked. I remember thinking to myself while I waited in the line. "Oh my gosh, Im dead." I had always wondered what dying young would be like, and I kept going over and over in my head, "Im never going to have a career, I won't know what having children is like, I've left everyone I care about" I was completly taken aback. I couldn't stop wondering how I had died. I had no idea, and never did find out.
As I waited in this line, I watched all the others go up this staircase. After talking to the lady at the bottom of the staircase, you got the go ahead to get on. I turned around and was looking for anything that would make some sense. Out of the corner of my eye, there she was. Sara came and waited in the line with me. I was never like "omg! your dead too?!" I just sorta, knew. She went infront of me so I could see what it was like. For some reason there was a photographer there who was taking "glamour" shots as you went up the escalator. It was finally Sara's turn to go up, so she put down all her luggage and went on the escalator and was posing for the camera, making kissing faces for it, and looking just so beautiful. I remember getting onto the escalator and at the end was a platform and another set of stair. They didn't move like the escalator did though. There was an arrow that pointed upwards, but I don't remember what it said. I thought "well, if Im no longer alive, I should be able to point my finger towards the top of the stairs and fly up" I did just that, and nothing happened. I walked up the stairs. (Sara leaves the dream at this point)
Next thing I remember is Im in a room and I guess I unpacked my luggage cause it was empty. A black lady came in who was maybe in charge or something told me that this was going to be a problem cause I packed too much and there is limited space. I said "If its any consolation, the luggage bags are empty, so you can squish them in the corner" she did just that, and there was enough room for everything else. I was in a nice room with huge windows looking out to, Im not sure what. I was reallly sad at this point. I had noticed that my room was attached to another room. It had turned out to be like, "the lady in charge"'s room. She was really nice. I walked through the office, and there were rows and rows of old computers and everything just looked really office like. I was crying at this point. She was doing work at her desk, and had asked if everything was ok. I replied in between sobs "I just really don't understand, Im really confused" Her and I went into my room and we leaned against the bed and she was explaining to me what had happened. Im assuming that is what she was telling me, I have no memory of what she said. but when she was talking, there was a baby on my bed. She was so small and she was dressed in pink, but she didnt have any bottoms on, so she had a bare bum. So weird. The lady looked at me like "My, how appropriote is this. Im telling you all this stuff and she is dancing around with a bare bum" and giggled.
This lady left back to her office and I gazed out the window into the darkness. Things were lit up with street lights (Im assuming). It was really beautiful. I was crying and crying. I would never see any of my friends or my family again. I was going over what I wanted my life to be like, but none of that was going to happen cause I was no longer alive. Then somehow, I was in my living room in my house. My parents were outside gardening along the side of the house. I was pounding on the living room window so they could hear me. They didn't even flinch. I continued to pound on the glass and they never looked up. I thought "wow, they can't even hear me pound on the window" My mom was crying too. I wanted to go see everyone else, but I couldn't for some reason. So I returned back to my room. I wasnt sure what was going on, but I knew that I wanted to see my memorial. I wanted to make sure they used a cute picture of myself.
This is where the dream pretty much ends. I woke up at 5am and felt SO sad. I started balling. Not just yer little tear. But the kind where you have to catch your breath. It was the most intense feeling. I was so sad. Being at this place wasnt at all horrible to make me never want to die. But I think we shouldn't take life for granted. Its so valuable. "You don't know what you got till it's gone" This is so true.
Sweet dreams.
